Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Experiencing, witnessing, and instigating incivility and bullying behaviors can have long-lasting effects on our mental and physiological well-being. In fact, witnessing or experiencing a new event can trigger those old responses. As you read the following three scenarios, think about how you might feel if you witnessed or experienced these events, what you would do, and what University of Iowa resources you would access for help.

Scenario 1

Last year, I watched as an older adult, using a cane, unsteadily navigate their way through a moving crowd of people on a sidewalk who seemed oblivious of their surroundings because most of them were looking down at their phones. One person slightly bumped into the older adult, knocking them off balance. They did not fall but leaned into a storefront to regain their balance. The phone-user kept walking without looking up from their phone or apologizing. I wondered what that older person thought and whether they felt safe. Witnessing that event troubled me, and I still wonder whether I should have crossed the street to see if they were okay or whether I should have asked the person using their phone to apologize for what they did. I did nothing because the older adult carried on and I did not know what the person on the phone might do to me. A year later, I still chide myself for not at least checking in with that older adult.

Scenario 2

The second event happened during the COVID-19 pandemic. During a drive home after work, I was in a long, snaking line of traffic. A bus driver was waiting for a break in the traffic to safely turn. The driver of the car in front of me stopped to allow the bus driver to complete their left turn. Traffic resumed and then stopped for a red light. The driver behind me screeched around my car and pulled up beside me, rolled down their window, rudely gestured and shouted an obscenity at me. Startled, I tried to explain, “I think we were just being nice!” The driver responded “$%#! nice” and sped away. The troubled feelings I had from that encounter are still with me mostly because it triggered the anxiety and dread of a near-miss I had several years ago while driving on an interstate when two drivers were raging at one another at high speed.

Scenario 3

The third event happened more recently. A friend shared with me that they’d posted a political opinion on a social media site soon after a SCOTUS ruling. Within minutes, someone cyber-taunted them by posting racial and gender-based slurs along with threats of violence. My friend reported this to the police and the social media website. They no longer use any social media. After having weeks of sleep disturbances and resurgence of their anxiety, they sought counseling. While there is a definitional distinction between incivility and bullying, the most important consideration is the impact these behaviors trigger in targets, witnesses, and even the instigators. Multiple studies over the past four decades have unequivocally linked incivility and bullying with an increased risk of mental and physiological health issues that include sleep disturbances, anxiety, depression, panic disorders, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, dropping out of school or leaving employment, decreased self-esteem, and withdrawal from vital social and family connections. Research suggests a possible link between bullying and thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts.

Behaviors that are typically described as uncivil or bullying include things such as malicious gossip, intentionally withholding important information from a colleague, eye-rolling in response to being asked to do something, mocking someone, or clique-like behaviors. Since bullying has no legal definition in the United States, the term “harassment” is used. That said, the word “bullying” is used in research and everyday language. It is defined as repeated disruptive and abusive behaviors that are consciously or unconsciously intended to cause harm to someone. Uncivil behaviors can become bullying behaviors. An important consideration is that each of us responds differently to these behaviors. Some of us can blow it off and others have an entirely different experience.

Research also shows that behaviors associated with incivility and bullying have increased in the past few years. The Workplace Bullying Institute 2021 Survey reported that 30% of American adults had experienced bullying in the workplace and 20% of students report being the target of bullying behavior. Research suggests that the time of isolation we endured during the COVID-19 pandemic created the social space for a growing intolerance of differences that are visible through this increase in incivility and bullying. Accordingly, there is a collective loss of empathy – that ability to connect with others on a level of shared humanity. The differences we have – political, religious, gender identification, ethnic and racial identities – have become magnified in a way that divides us such that we are having trouble listening to one another with respect.

What should we do when we witness, are the target of, or are the instigators of incivility or bullying? My own anti-incivility and anti-bullying toolkit includes things like:

  1. Being kind even when I am frustrated in a situation
  2. Staying connected with my family and my friends
  3. Being aware of people who might be feeling vulnerable in a situation and extend a hand of friendship.

I found a helpful program on National Public Radio’s Storycorps called “One Small Step.” Here is a sample.

If you witness incivility or bullying, The University of Iowa also has multiple resources to help:

UI resources if you are the target or instigator of bullying:

References:

Arsneault, L. (2017). The long‐term impact of bullying victimization on mental health. World Psychiatry. 16(1): 27-28.

Hogh, A., Claussen, T., Bickman, L., Hansen, A.M., et al (2020). Consequences of Workplace Bullying for Individuals, Organizations and Society in Pathways of Job-related Negative Behavior (Cruz, P., Noronha, E., Baillien, E., Catley, B. et al, Eds). Online e-book. https://doi-org.proxy.lib.uiowa.edu/10.1007/978-981-10-6173-8 Accessed September 11, 2022.

Park LS, Martinez LR. An "I" for an "I": A systematic review and meta-analysis of instigated and reciprocal incivility. J Occup Health Psychol. 2022 Feb;27(1):7-21. doi: 10.1037/ocp0000293. PMID: 34323554.

The Workplace Bullying Institute, https://workplacebullying.org/ accessed September 11, 2022.

Cover photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash