When my kids were younger, one of our family’s favorite movies was Inside Out, an animated Pixar film focused on the inner thoughts and feelings of an 11-year-old girl. The movie takes place inside her mind, where emotions are personified as characters: Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Fear, and Anger. These emotions work together in “Headquarters,” the girl’s control center, to guide her daily actions and reactions. The movie beautifully illustrates how making space for all emotions, including those we don’t want, is essential to our well-being.

Making space for our emotions, especially those that feel unpleasant, is especially challenging at work, where we sometimes feel we shouldn’t have emotions at all. All humans have emotions, and those emotions are going to show up in the workplace. We’ve all been there – a busy day, things don’t go as planned, interactions with people are challenging, systems break down. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed with the number of tasks to be done, maybe we had a poor night’s sleep or are facing a personal challenge outside of work. Each of these situations may leave us struggling to maintain our composure. We don’t have direct access to an Inside Out-style Headquarters that we can tell when, how often, and how strongly we experience emotions. We can, however, choose our own actions and reactions by engaging one or more of these strategies: 

• Acknowledge thoughts and feelings—Notice and name what you’re feeling or thinking. Instead of saying to yourself “I am stressed,” try “I am noticing that I am feeling stressed.” Responding to emotions at work isn't about suppressing them and it may not be about expressing them, either. It's about seeing emotions for what they are and choosing how to respond based on what works.
• Pause—When we are under high stress and experience heightened anxiety or fear, our bodies sometimes activate the fight or flight response (increased heart rate, rapid breathing, muscle tension). In these situations, strong emotions and physical sensations may get in the way of communicating effectively. For this reason, it may be helpful to pause, take a step back, and consider a few ways to calm your body and mind. A few examples: 
  • Square or Box Breathing is a simple four-step pattern: inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, and then hold your breath again for a count of four, then repeat. You can imagine tracing around the sides of a square or box at each step. This method helps regulate breathing, reduce stress, and promote a sense of calm by creating a slow and balanced breathing pattern. For guided practice with this strategy, check out: https://www.mondaycampaigns.org/destress-monday/square-breathing#:~:text=While%20breathing%20and%20counting%2C%20imagine,%2C%20a%20mouse%20pad%2C%20etc.
  • Five-senses grounding focuses on each of your five senses, noticing and describing your experience to anchor yourself in the present. Follow the prompts below to give this a try.
    • Sight: Look around and notice five things you can see. 
    • Touch: Identify four things you can feel or touch. 
    • Hearing: Pay attention to four things you can hear.
    • Smell: Notice two things you can smell.
    • Taste: Focus on one thing you can taste. 
• Know what matters—What are your emotions telling you about what matters? Take a moment to reconnect with your “why” or values in the workplace. What kind of colleague do you want to be? How do you want to show up in your role at work? What do you want to look back and see about how you handled a situation? By connecting with what matters, you will be in a better position to choose actions that align with your values rather than letting emotions take over. 
• Choose to be effective/do what works—Acknowledging what we’re feeling, pausing to notice and respond to our bodies, and reflecting on what matters can help identify a step you can take (big or small) that reflects your underlying value and what works in the situation. 
• Self-compassion—Emotions are normal and natural, and making space for them is not easy. Remind yourself that this is tough, others struggle too, and that being kind to yourself may be more helpful than being self-critical. 
• Manage stress—Make time, even if only a few minutes a day for things you enjoy. Engaging in meaningful activities outside of work can significantly affect your emotional resilience at work. When your emotional cup is full (or at least not empty), it's more difficult for workplace stressors to knock you off balance. You may also enjoy practicing mindfulness using mobile apps such as Insight Timer, Headspace, or Calm.
• Seek support—If you’re feeling distressed at work on a regular basis, consider talking to a mentor, trusted colleague, or counselor. The University of Iowa has many resources to support mental health; check out the UI Health and Well-being resource guide for ideas at: https://hr.uiowa.edu/employee-well-being/livewell/health-and-well-being-resource-guide. 

Each of us brings our own histories, beliefs, experiences, and identities to the workplace, so these strategies may not work for everyone. This list is an invitation to notice your experience and experiment with some of these strategies to determine which, if any, help you effectively respond to emotions.

Cover image by Elisa Ventur.